It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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