Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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