He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
