I feel like abortions should bother me more
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
