so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
