k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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