u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The air taste purple.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
