Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
