dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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