we have pet lesbian snakes
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
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