I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
