Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
