just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
