why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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