So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
