i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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