i think i have herpe
just one?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize