Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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