I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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