i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize