I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
