you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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