Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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