I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize