am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
