If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
