Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
