so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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