take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
