I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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