The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
