never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
