Please don't use social media to get back at me.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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