Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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