so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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