i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
