so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
