Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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