id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
