So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
