We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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