She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
