so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize