Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
