Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
