And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
