exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just want nice things and good sex
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
