What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize