I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
