just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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