why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
