Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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