Pappa wants mamma naked
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
