my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
