This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
