help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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