piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
