You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
