Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
