I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
