Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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