we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
