That's intense
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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