fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
