Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
